Being new

It occurs to me that one of the hardest things about being new is that everything is an effort, and it stays an effort for maybe 3 months. Every conversation is with a stranger. As much as I long to be with people, the meeting with this new research group listening them talk about projects I'm not going to be involved with was hardly satisfying social contact because I felt like I was totally on stage, and maybe even had to overcome some kind of barrier because a few of them hate my advisor. And my research group never ever has any meetings at all, as far as I can tell. Just a monthly seminar, which is the kind of monthly that is "every month, except when it's inconvenient." which really means six times a year.