Update

I went through a period of high energy, meeting with lots of people, and then suddenly started slowing down. It's incredibly hard to maintain 1 1/2 to 2 hours per day of commuting, even if I do get to read the paper. I introduced myself to everyone that I have met on my corridor, although most people leave their doors closed or ajar just a millimeter so I haven't encountered more than half the people on my hallway. In the subsequent days, I didn't see them again or have an opening to have a conversation. Someone I introduced myself to who has her door open just 3 inches isn't exactly soliciting conversation. The woman directly across the hall from me suggested we have coffee sometime. I should take her up on that. But I haven't seen her since that first time we met. And she is directly across the hall from me! Maybe I should put a big sign on my door which says, "Please interrupt!"

The most demoralizing part of being a postdoc is going to an office and go an entire day without even a single 60 second conversation, and realize that no one cares if I am there or what I do. Of course I care about the research that I do, and I want to do my research, but out of the social context, that's like asking if I am willing to sit by myself in a room for 2000 hours a year, and I'm really not. I got a paper accepted to a top journal, and I'm pleased, but most of all I am happy that its acceptance gives me an excuse to talk with people. There's some clear follow-up work to do on this, but when it's just me and me, I don't feel all that interested.

So I have started again on the bad habits of getting immersed in stupid irrelevant things. E.g., I cancelled the new cheap sofa order and spent forever shopping for a sofa on Craig's List, and found one saving myself about $300 over the cost of the new sofa. And then decided I needed to look for something else. And then watch all the episodes of the Daily Show and Colbert Report online. And get distracted and miss things I'd kind-of planned on going to, but no one cares if I go. And not getting exercise. And going to the public library and checking out all kinds of hobby-related books and fun things just so I can get out of the house. And somehow the time passes. It's such an embarrassing struggle, though I was relieved to read someone else's tips on exactly this kind of torpor.

Obviously something needs to change. I figure if I get involved in a regular exercise pattern, I will feel less restless about working alone for the rest of the day. And find some activities to do. And introduce myself to still more people so that maybe I can have at least 5 minutes of in-person conversation every day. But I really get lonely not seeing anyone and feeling like no one cares where I am or what I do during work hours.

. . .

Dating-wise, things are smashing. In fact, I have reached dating nirvana. In my last city, it felt like I was meeting people who aren't that smart or interesting, although later on I did start to meet them. Here I am meeting more people than I can possibly fit in my schedule. It's kind-of embarrassing, actually. They're not better educated. Maybe I am less picky.

Things are so spread out, so everything has to be scheduled for weekends, and sometimes just one weekend day, so that's easy for first dates: 2 hour coffee dates is plenty, and you can have 3 in one day. Once you get past the first date and you want to do something interesting, it gets to be harder. But that's the worst of my dating problems, so I'm extremely grateful.

Something that I have noticed is that I am fairly unambitious for dating. The only date so far that I am nervous for is coming up this weekend. He's an ambitious energetic confident guy. And so I suspect he won't like me. Whereas the guys who showed glimmers of awkwardness or lack of confidence, I was fairly confident that we would either get along or I wouldn't care. I know that's sad.